Hey bro, are you ready for a head check? I mean are you really ready to wrap your mind around an idea that may make you come to a eureka moment, kick you down a notch, and at the same time make you angry enough at yourself and motivated to change your situation?
Do you know why most of us aren't the King of our families?
I am writing this in the middle of my own dilemma.
I don't own any interest in the home that I currently live in.
It's paid for... but it's not mine.
This may have seemed like a blessing if you heard of my situation from the
"grapevine"... But here's the straight talk.
I am married to a widow who was married to a High-value man that died.
He was something like 20 years her senior... and left a nice estate to their children, with his widowed wife as the Trustee.
The children are now all of age to have ownership of this estate but their mother is still their overseer while they're in college... my wife and I waiting until they finish their degrees and take on the world for themselves before we leave.
Before I landed in this situation, I had been married twice before. I have 3 kids between those marriages ( 1 with the first and 2 with the second).
The oldest I'm estranged to.
While it increasingly seems I'm on that same trajectory of being estranged from the other two. And I love them dearly.
This summer like every other summer I was supposed to get my children for a few weeks, usually a month or so.
This summer, that didn't happen.
Because I don't own the home I am residing in. I don't have any weight in this regard.
Do one or more of my stepkids not like me or my natural kids?
Have they or my wife lost respect for me because I am living under their roof?
Or is it just that they have too much going on with college, youth, and life, and it's their house?
Whatever the case, I realized that I have no legitimate power in the matter.
I've also lost respect for myself in the fact that I haven't placed myself in the position where none of this could happen... a position where I had power and many options.
I have been sick for a number of years. Not a disease of organs, blood, or anything in the "medical world".
But sick nonetheless.
Let's call it spiritually sick, and mentally blocked.
I've always been spiritually inclined, loving God and also trusting of Government, Nationalism, and that the good ole USA was as we have been educated to believe; under God and built on Godly values.
Over time I've learned that this is not true. And even the moniker on our currency is a mockery of those Ideas... "In God, We Trust"... imprinted on valueless fiat currency, tied to Usury and private banks.
Let's just say that I've generated a disdain for money, government, and wokeism...
Having had the shit end of the stick given to me in life one too many times I became broken. I lost motivation. I lost desire. I've literally been a walking zombie.
I had all appearances of life... but I was basically dead.
While being lost and confused... and having fallen off of my spiritual and intellectual path of enlightenment, growth, and discovery... I lost my zeal for life.
I thought that the psychiatric and pharmacological world could help me out.
I was on several medications and talk therapies... I was feeling weak, tired, drained, sad, angry, and at times the complete opposite... but either way I felt my capacity to stay focused, to think, to complete things was compromised.
I was unable to stay awake, alert, and cognizant through much of my days... and again, I couldn't concentrate.
But at the same time, I couldn't stop thinking about innumerable things!
So, I was prescribed Adderal and Modafinil. Both of which I had great hopes for... especially Modafinil.
They didn't help. I didn't become productive, or the genius and uber-capable polymath or savant.
And it didn't change or help with any of the issues I was facing as a Nice Guy.
I have been a Nice Guy for most of my life.
It is my resolution to not be that Nice Guy anymore.
That doesn't translate to a desire to become an asshole and insensitive... far from that, and yet that's another topic in and of itself.
I'll ask you now to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover as I have, and I think you'll quickly learn that not being a Nice Guy is one of the most caring and meaningful things you can do.
One of the main things you'll need to do in life to fix problems is thinking... reading you'll find is a great stimulator of thought. As is stimulating conversations with others on the same path...
So, after my errant journey in the psychiatric and pharmacological world became hopeless, I picked up my love for reading and thinking again, which led to some other ideas...
You see, I was reading some articles on freedom, on the problems we are facing in the West, and how the sphere of Socialism, Communism, and Wokeism is quickly swallowing up our freedoms.
And also, how these spheres of influence (among other issues) were causing the moral and spiritual diseases that are afflicting men, and by their contagious nature, families, and society in general.
In my reading, I venture off into spirituality and philosophy sometimes; in an effort to understand why this is happening.
Mind you, this work doesn't directly speak of what I'm going to elaborate on here shortly... but it is there.
He did speak directly of Freedom though ...
" This freedom IS not political but personal: the freedom of self-reliance,
of skill, of being capable of surviving and thriving in the world, of
standing on my own two feet, of moving through life with strength
and competence and independence.
"This freedom is the liberation of holding nothing back from my life, of
being fundamentally open to experience, of actively seeking after
enlightenment, dignity, depth, and beauty.
This freedom is the true wealth of creativity, of friendship, of love, of knowing what I truly want, of doing what I truly value, of being what
I aspire to be.
This freedom is the result of self-governance, self-mastery, and self
trust for when I trust myself completely, I do not need to depend
on some authority outside of myself and my own relationship to
This freedom brings the ultimate security and leads to the ultimate
The last two sentences really connected with me. Especially in the context of being the King of my Family. What family is trusting and respectful of a King that is incapable of governance, and self-mastery?
Can your wife indeed be a Queen in her mind if she doesn't have that trust, and respect for her husband? Can she be governed by her King if she is the one actually in control or even partially?
This notion is further impacted by social and legal changes over the last few generations.
Women rebel against the very idea of governance and the expectation of trust and respect for their husbands because they realize that they are needed and equalized; even held higher under the laws and societal changes of communism, socialism, and wokeism.
The second to last quoted paragraph also alluded to this idea of mine, in that if she (your wife) realizes that you depend on her, or some outside authority in order to live in this current reality. You are diminished as King. Just a symbol without power.
Let that sink in.
You depend on her and/or some outside authority to make ends meet in your current reality.
And you are her King?
She knows that is fiction or at the least compromised because you need her... and that if she has any trouble with you, she has something of control over you. Her name is on the home, on the car, on the business, on your bank accounts and assets. She also knows with almost certainty she will get half or more of all of that if she wants out... and she knows with great certainty that she'll also get the kids... and a paycheck for taking care of them "for you"... whether it's your will or not. And whether you were at fault or not in the breakup of your family.
Brother, you need to change that for the better. And believe me, it is for the better.
Become an Integrated and High-Value Man.
Own and be responsible for everything in your life, everything in your Kingdom.
Don't let other governance enter your Kingdom.
Don't seek permission to do things that aren't illegal, aren't immoral, and don't harm someone else or their rights.
Own and be responsible for everything that belongs to your kingdom.
Put that in writing and have that witnessed.
Your marriage should be religious and spiritual only... and witnessed by friends, family, and loved ones... or by God alone... but, NOT OFFICIATED or LICENSED by GOVERNMENT. (those marriages are actually three-way... you are marrying her and the Government... you are consenting to their say in your Kingdom, you are making treason on yourself!)
You don't need permission to do natural things, or necessary things for the promotion of your life, your family, or society in natural contexts. Why would marrying need permission from the government? Did you need permission to date, or to travel from one place to another? Think about that. Do you need permission to travel outside of your home? Or from town to town, city to city, or state to state?
Would you call yourself free if that required permission?
Let those that belong or are allowed within your kingdom benefit from your hospitality, your generosity, and kindness. But, to be clear, they don't own anything in your kingdom or have any rights or responsibility beyond what you allow and license.
Your wife should she remain with you in honor and loyalty, and with respect can be gifted anything you desire, or be left the same in your death through your will and estate.
If she stays with you she stands to lose or gain based on that honor, loyalty, and respect she gave during your marriage.
If you took care of her every need and desire... why wouldn't she be your greatest supporter?
What can you do to be more sovereign, independent and respected?
What can you do to become the King of your family?
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